A Year in Review
A Year In Review
One year ago today, May 6, 2016, was the last day of my last job with a corporation. It also marked the end of a 9 year run working for large corporations. I was taking a big risk to leave the cushy, coziness of it all and go out on my own, be the hair stylist and makeup artist I always wanted to be, brand myself, start a business, pursue my passion projects and realize my dreams.
I had $24K in savings to live off of and a few trips planned for the coming weeks. Because I had learned to attach much of my worth to my work/career, I had grand visions for my work but only a vague plan of how I was going to survive in Santa Barbara. But what I was truly most excited about was the chance to do NOTHING. I didn’t know exactly what that entailed other than being horizontal in my apartment but the idea of having nowhere to drive, no one to see, no one to answer to, and no work to complete felt like absolute bliss. It was as though I didn’t want to live. A reminder that my life was not and had not been in alignment with my heart and soul.
A pivotal moment: After a week in beautiful, clean, serene, peaceful Alaska, I woke up feeling depressed because after all – I had NOTHING to do. A new experience for me, someone always on the go, driven, passionate, curious, and capable, despite my lack of happiness. Knowing my future was unpredictable and scary, my logic told me to first ensure that my body and mind were healthy to carry me through. So I created a meal plan and exercise plan to give me something to do daily. I also committed to creativity by way of the Summer Solstice workshop.
The transformation I’ve gone through in the past year is beyond words. I am just so proud to say, “I made it a year and I didn’t die!” I used to justify my resignation by saying “What’s the worst that could happen? I won’t die!” I have prioritized being gentle with myself which is likely a result of the burnout I experienced from trying for too long to be what I thought others wanted me to be and what I thought I SHOULD be – talk about exhausting! This year and time of transition has been uncomfortable, without a doubt, and that discomfort leaves me vulnerable and yet open to learning, discerning and loving in a whole new way.
I feel called to do so much in my life and through my work but I trust that will show up as it’s meant to. Right now, I’m more aligned with spirit and the things that really matter to me and I have the freedom and flexibility to connect with others, feel my body, play in nature, date men, and explore my mind, wants and needs.
What I know to be true is that I want to empower others and to have a positive impact on the beauty industry. #Real women and girls are being devalued as a result of media and advertisements sending a message about what we ought to look like. We have been reminded for years that we’re not winning and cannot win at our beauty game because the truth is what we want to look like (what we’re told we should look like) doesn’t exist – the images of “beauty” are photoshop’d!
As much as I know having nice hair and makeup IS empowering (I have brought women to tears (of joy) after doing their makeup), I feel conflicted about it devaluing the women who choose to not do their hair or makeup. To balance this notion, I choose to have a voice about the importance of INNER BEAUTY, because in reality:
– we are all different
– there are fat people who are healthy
– there are skinny people who are unhealthy
– we are all beautiful beings walking this beautiful earth with complex bodily systems working simultaneously for our mere existence
TODAY we can all make a CONSCIOUS CHOICE to feel beautiful simply by:
– getting curious and exploring what our bodies can do, as opposed to worrying about what they look like
– contributing our unique talents & gifts to those around us
– considering the cultural landscape of children and young people and leading by example
– accepting ourselves
– accepting others
– being affectionate with ourselves and others
Now, go look in the mirror and name 3 things that you love about your body and/or your beauty. Your life is your responsibility – it’s up to you to decide to see yourself as beautiful as you are and wake up making that choice every day.
Sending you peace, love, bubbles & hugs!
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xoxo, Melissa Rae
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